Crumpled Paper

     Writing a college essay is hard.   Not because I don’t know how to write, but because it’s hard to come up with ideas.   The effect of writers block is multiplied by the fact that you know that this essay may matter a lot.  It could be the difference between whether you get into a school or don’t.   Unlike some people this thought process doesn’t weigh on me that heavily because I figure that things will work out no matter where I go.    However I still want to try my best, and that means I have to try and make a good essay that gives the admission officers a good idea of who I am. 

    I’ve ran through various essay ideas, if they weren’t typed on documents, I’d figure that I would have a trash can filled up with ripped, crumpled pieces of paper with various sentences and phrases that encompass my ideas that I’ve thought of

    Here’s the thing though, none of them were full essay drafts.  I have only made one draft of an essay and that’s the one i plan to work with.   In that one draft I decided to not overthink and just type.   Various disconnected ideas jumped to me as more and more ideas poured in and I let my fingers do the thinking.  It was like talking without thinking before saying anything, which I find that I am particularly good at.  

    Eventually something discernible came out of this mess and I’m slowly turning it into something that works.   And hopefully works well.   Writing in response to something that doesn’t have a prompt, or a clear defined one is hard.  It can be hard to be creative, because I think that we are so used to not trying to be.  

"Boring" Art in Good Talk

     "Good Talk" by Mira Jacob, is a graphic novel, and to me the most exciting part of graphic novels is the artwork inside, as it is the unique aspect of them.   The way they can convey imagery and symbolism visually, alongside the text, is unmatched.  However in this book, the artwork is quite unique, and at first glance you might think its boring....

    Jacob uses certain drawings of characters, that show a very basic expression, and use that same drawing in many pages of the book.   And even when you think it's a different drawing, only the hair or the clothes change, its still the same face and expression, with a different twist to make it seem like there's something changed.   She only really uses different drawings for a singular character when she is telling a story that changes the age of said character, because she does have to depict them as younger and older.  And every once in a while she has a unique panel where everything is different, usually when she needs to convey something important or symbolic.   

    One could analyze the unchanging character artwork and make some sort of metaphor out of it, besides the conclusion that the author is not a great artist or is lazy, and its likely she did have a reason for it.  However, the most unique thing that I noticed in the panels/pages of Jacob's novel, is the backgrounds.   Behind the overlaid characters, are literal photographs that depict the setting, parallel the dialogue, or just simply match the character's mental state.  I haven't seen a graphic novel do something like that before, and seeing the way Jacob can convey her meaning through the background photograph, the drawings, and the dialogue (as almost all text in the novel is in conversation, hence the title "Good Talk, a Memoir in Conversations") is interesting and certainly makes up for what someone may consider "boring" artwork.

This panel shows the use of background photographs, and also shows almost  every version of Jacob's self that will ever be shown in again as drawing in the rest of the book.

The Tragedy of Wisdom

     Sweat by Lynn Nottage is a tragic story.   One about friends who grow hateful of each other, and people of different backgrounds finding animosity between them, all in the name of survival under capitalism.   Tracey and Cynthia may never mend their friendship after Tracey believes that Cynthia betrayed the rest of them after being promoted, but they are both fine in the future.  Chris and Jason may never be true friends again after Jason led Chris to hurt others, but they went to prison and eventually got out.  Of course Oscar may never forgive them for what they did, but he owns a bar now.  But the person who got hurt the most, was the most empathetic, Stan.

    Unlike the others who fixed blame on each other, Stan managed to understand the backgrounds and reasoning of everyone.  When Cynthia wonders why everyone is so mad about her promotion, Stan replies "Can you blame 'em?"   He understands why everyone thinks the way they do, and he even sympathizes with Cynthia asking "How are you holding up?" when nobody else will.  Stan, as the wisest and most experienced character, understands that things are getting heated and blame is shifted to the wrong people.    He tried to explain that "...Olstead, his cronies.  Fucking Wall Street" are all to blame.  However his cries fall on deaf ears and the other characters find the easy scapegoats.... Each other.  

    Stan defends Oscar when tensions get high, saying "it isn't his fault..." and "Oscar ain't getting rich off of your misery," something Jason and Tracey frustratingly don't understand.   This ends up being to his demise as he is injured by Jason after he tries to defend Oscar, and is revealed to be crippled, suffering from a traumatic brain injury.   Stan understood the people on top try to create animosity between the common working people to continue to succeed, and his knowledge ended up being fatal flaw to himself.  

When will America be America again?

     "Let America be America again. / Let it be the dream it used to be. / Let it be the pioneer on the plain / Seeking a home where he himself is free."  - Langston Hughes, Let America be America Again.

    Hughes wrote this poem in 1935, speaking on how the American dream didn't exist for lower class and minority Americans.  He details the the hardships impoverished, African-Americans, Native Americans, and also immigrants, mentioning places like, Ireland, England, and Poland.    Hughes makes a point to be inclusive about who was fooled by the American dream (the answer to which is everyone).   However despite Hughes' remarks about its shortcomings, he is hopeful about America's future, calling his audience to action and claiming that "America will be!" and we will "make America again!" 

    However this poem was written in 1935, and in 2022 can we truly say that America is America again?  Most would argue not.  87 years since the poem's publishing, and it's hard to say that Hughes' hope that "every man is free" has not completely come to fruition yet.  Sure it is easy to say the world is different since 1935, but we are not free of our problems when it comes to the experience of the impoverished and the minorities in America, and that has been especially clear.   How long will it take till these issues are gone and America is America again?  I don't know.  Will they ever be gone?   It's hard to say.  To hope that the America can live up to its previous "American dream" seems like such a long shot with these uncertainties.  We can only hope and help catalyze change to our best ability, so that later on America, and the world, may be just a bit closer to that dream.  

Gatsby in Bikini Bottom

 There was a new player in town.   And a new house.   A really big one, just across from Squidward's house.  Despite just moving in, evidently the newcomer and his abode was a hot commodity.  His first day in his newly constructed home, and he's throwing a party, all residents of Bikini Bottom are invited.

Oh puh-lease, thinks Squidward, Am I never going to have any peace? 

Although his first impression of this newcomer isn't so positive, his neighbors think otherwise.

"Hey SpongeBob, I heard this guys throwing a party, and EVERYONE's going"  

"I think you've got the right idea Patrick, we should meet this guy"

Mr. Krabs wasn't so up to the idea of losing all of his customers for one night, but even he was going to this party.  

When SpongeBob and Patrick arrived at his house, they were amazed.  The sounds of laughter and a live orchestra surmounted in the air.  They somehow found their way to the "cocktail table" and Patrick had his first drink.  Soon to be followed by many more.

"Gee, Patrick, looks like I have to find the host of this party myself"

Spongebob wandered through asking about this supposed "Gatsby," hearing rumors about him.  Supposedly he may have "killed someone" and moved here, or that he was a "German spy".  These rumors only sparked SpongeBob's curiosity even more.  He really wanted to meet his new neighbor.  Thankfully he finally met a familiar face.

"Sandy, I didn't know you'd be here!"

"Hey SpongeBob, I thought I might find you here.  I knew you lived next door"

After catching up with Sandy, and meeting new people, Spongebob ended up at a table with a man who struck up conversation with him.  The man was wearing a helmet like Sandy's.  

"Want to go out Jellyfishing with me next morning, old sport?"  He suggested after they got to know each other.

"Wow, that sounds like fun!   I am sure glad I met you, but its really strange I haven't seen the host, Gatsby , once."  Spongebob exclaimed.

He looked at Spongebob as if he failed to understand

"I am Gatsby," he said suddenly.

"What!?  That's crazy!"

Spongebob was glad to have met his neighbor, but he said his goodbyes and went home, he had to work at the Krusty Krab the next morning.   Gatsby made sure their plans tomorrow were solid, he sure wanted to meet his neighbors, but this wasn't the one he was looking for.  He looked across the road to the Moai, the Easter Island head, and his one true dream...

what did I just write.

"Gatsby turned out alright in the end"

"it is what preyed on Gatsby, what foul dust floated in the wake of his dreams that temporarily closed out my interest in the abortive sorrows and the short-winded elations of men" (Fitzgerald 2).  Clearly, in the most literal sense, Gatsby didn't turn out alright in the end.   So what does Nick mean by this, and what "preyed" on him?   

Nick admits that he  "disapproved of him from beginning to end", but he still found Gatsby such a polarizing character that he had to remain a "friend" to see what transpires.  Nick's role as a pure observer in the story allowed him to understand Gatsby's motivations to every end.  He saw Gatsby's need to flaunt and show his wealth as a way to impress Daisy.  His drive to be a "Trimalchio"-esque character, as Nick pointed out, was what preyed on him.  It was his sole purpose to have Daisy back, as the "foul dust" that "floated in the wake of his dreams", was the memories of the past that he never got over.  The events past took over his decisions.

This and his death suggests that he didn't turn out alright, but remember that this is from Nick's point of view.  Nick seems to be a cynical and neutral narrator, but he still holds his own opinions.  He did not particularly like Gatsby, especially as the story went on, but he saw why he was the way he was.  Maybe his demise was the good ending, and arguably he got everything he wanted, even if it was only for such a little time.  The past took over his motivations, and set his one singular goal in life.  He achieved that goal, and so maybe he did turn out alright

A letter from Mr. Grumps

 Dear parents of my most esteemed students,

    I have been receiving complaints about an image I've shown recently in class that contains "violent" imagery.   Although I understand your worries,  I assure you all that the accusations that I am "traumatizing" your children are baseless and untrue.  As a history teacher it is my job to make sure my students understand historically significant events on every level.  This includes everything and anything about these events that may be horrible, and violent.  I'm sure your teenage students have seen worse by their own volition, especially in this age driven by social media.  Anything in my class however, is relevant to whatever we may be learning and also important.  In an article on Time (https://time.com/3705884/why-violent-news-images-matter/) by Fred Ritchen, he quotes a photographer who asks "How can we refuse to acknowledge a mere representation-- a picture-- of a horrific event, while other people are forced to live through the horrific event itself?"  I'm sure the "trauma" I may be inducing on these mature, high school students is comparable to the trauma that the victims of these horrible events have faced.  The victims', whose experiences of the past are invalidated when people don't learn of them.  As a teacher it is my job to teach, and I will continue to do so.  

                                                                                                                        Sincerely,

                                                                                                                        Mr. Grumps